Birthday in Quarantine

Here it is. April 27th, 2020. The last year of my dirty 30s… I can’t even begin to comprehend where the time has gone.

Which brings me to my topic today. Time and the changing of perspective. I’ve been a father now for nearly 12 and half years. As my first born has grown up, so have I in a number of ways. I was just about 26 and while she wasn’t an accident, the feelings of I’m in no way ready for this I remember quite vividly.

My then wife and I went to see Shrek 3 with my cousin and his girlfriend. It’s the one where he’s going to be a dad. I can recall sitting in that theater and relating to an angry ogre on multiple levels. I barely knew how to take care of myself, let alone a baby.

Months of over buying, over preparing followed, until December 18th, 2007. Adriana was born and from the second I held her, the questions that I had, the doubt, the worry and fears just stopped for a while. Now, of course they were still there, but I knew I’d do whatever I needed to to answer them.

She’s now almost 13 and I also have an 8 year old daughter and 6 year old son. Instead of worrying how I’m going to raise another human, it’s how am I going to deal with a pre-teen girl. So the worrying and learning never stop. Now instead of worrying if she’s sleeping enough or eating enough, I’m making sure she’s up at a decent hour and not eating too much junk food.

We grew up a lot together, her and I. I moved into my 30s, my ex-wife went absolutely bananas (That will be quite the post). I had to learn to not only become a dad, but then a single dad with primary custody of a then 7, 3 and 1 year old.

Thankfully I had a support system like no other but it was still a roller coaster.

So if you’re sitting there wondering just how to do it, what to do, when to change a diaper, I can say confidently you will figure it all out. You’ll also screw up a lot, but it’s all part of the journey.

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